Theatre


Subject: Things never said in a theatre
> THINGS NEVER SAID IN THE THEATRE
> 
> BY THE STAGE MANAGER:
> ...It looks as though there'll be time for a third dress rehearsal.
> ...Take you time getting back from break.
> ...We've been ready for hours.
> ...No, I called that perfectly the first time- let's move on.
> ...The headsets are working perfectly.
> ...The cue lights are working perfectly.
> ...The orchestra has no complaints.
> ...The whole company is standing by whenever you want them.
> ...That didn't take long.
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.
> 
> 
> BY THE PRODUCER:
> ...Of course there's enough money to go around.
> ...We have money left over.
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.
> 
> 
> BY THE DIRECTOR:
> ...Wow, the designers were right on, weren't they?
> ...No, today is the tech rehearsal, we'll re-work that scene later.
> ...I think the scene changes are too fast.
> ...Of course I think that we'll be ready in time for opening.
> ...The crew? Why they're just wonderful!
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.
> 
> BY THE DESIGNERS:
> ...Of course all of my drawings were turned in on time.
> ...Yes, it absolutely is my fault that the set looks awful.
> ...You know, you might have a point there.
> ...The director knows best, obviously I wasn't giving him what he
wants.
> ...We have too many gel colors in stock, I can't choose.
> ...Of course the shop will have the costumes ready on time.
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.
> 
> 
> BY THE TD:
> ...This is the most complete and informative set of drawings I've ever
> seen.
> ...We built it right the first time.
> ...I love designers.
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.
> 
> 
> BY THE ACTOR:
> ...Don't...Let's not talk about me.
> ...I really think my big scene should be cut.
> ...This costume is SO comfortable.
> ...I love my shoes.
> ...No problem. I can do that for myself.
> ...I have a fantastic agent.
> ...Let me stand down here with my back to the audience.
> ...I'm sure someone told me there was a wall here, I just forgot.
> ...Without the crew the show would never run- let's thank them.
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.
> 
> 
> BY THE STAGE CREW:
> ...That instrument is not in the way.
> ...There's room for that over here.     
> ...We'll get in early tomorrow to do it.
> ...No, no. I'm sure that is our job.
> ...Anything I can do to help?
> ...All the tools are carefully locked away.
> ...Can we do that scene change again please?
> ...It's a marvelous show.
> ...I don't need this many on the crew.
> ...No thanks, I don't drink.

©Eddy Langley - This page last updated 7 November 2003