Subject: A few funnies....

 Tony Blair PM      - I'm Tory plan B

 Virginia Bottomley - I'm an evil Tory bigot

 Michael Heseltine - Elect him, he's alien

 David Mellor - Dildo marvel

 The Houses of Parliament - Loonies far up the Thames

 Francois Mitterand - Mad strain of cretin

 Performance related pay - Mere end of year claptrap

 Dame Agatha Christie - I am a right death case

 The Open University - Intrusive Neophyte

 The Metropolitan Police Force - I'm fellatio, the erect porno cop

 Acorn Computers - Crap to consumer

 Benson and Hedges - NHS been a godsend

 Eastenders - needs a rest

 Selina Scott - Elastic snot

 Sir Alec Guinness - Clearing sinuses

 Mel Gibson - big melons

 Arnold Schwarzenegger - He's grown large 'n' crazed

 Kylie Minogue - I like 'em young

 Gloria Estefan - large fat noise

 Chris Rea - rich arse

 Madonna, the material girl - Real dim man-eating harlot

 Diego Maradona - O dear, I'm a gonad

 Martina Navratilova - Variant rival to a man

 Gabriela Sabatini - Insatiable airbag

 Irritable Bowel Syndrome - O my terrible drains below

 Pentium Processor - Computerises porn

 Ossie Ardiles - Arse is soiled

Subject: Anagram humour...

Some anagrams ....

       Dormitory       ==      Dirty Room
       Evangelist      ==      Evil's Agent
       Desperation     ==      A Rope Ends It 
       The Morse Code  ==      Here Come Dots
       Slot Machines   ==      Cash Lost in 'em 
       Animosity       ==      Is No Amity
       Mother-in-law   ==      Woman Hitler
       Snooze Alarms   ==      Alas! No More Z's 
       Alec Guinness   ==      Genuine Class
       Semolina        ==      Is No Meal
       The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet 
       A Decimal Point ==      I'm a Dot in Place
       The Earthquakes ==      That Queer Shake 
       Eleven plus two ==      Twelve plus one 
       Contradiction   ==      Accord not in it 

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] 

       To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in 
       the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 
       In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent
       hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. 

And the grand finale:
       "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." 
               -- Neil A.  Armstrong
       A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag 
       on moon!  On to Mars!

©Eddy Langley - This page last updated 29 January 2005